Everyone seems to have an agenda these days, or a reason to get upset at others. The title “United States of America” is certainly ironic, seeing as we have never in our history been totally united and I can’t say I blame us.
From the get-go we seem to have never had the capacity to agree on just about anything. From slavery to women’s’ rights and everything in-between, someone somewhere would raise a fuss.
President Obama could have stepped out into the White House Rose Garden, looked straight into a camera and proclaimed that he prefers sunny days and Bill O’Reilly would call him a Communist for it. So forgive me when I chuckle a little when people make claims that someone or something is contradictory to the constitution or the Founding Fathers’ vision.
Gods aplenty
However, one movement I can really get behind and sink my teeth into is the fight to get God in the White House. For far too long our nation has been run without the guiding influence of the supreme being and it certainly shows.
So I am proposing we not only put a God-fearing person in charge of this fair national conglomerate of ours but we erect monumental statues in demonstration of our devotion to said creator and overseer. Now the only issue I have is which God specifically are we going to put in effigy in Washington?
An enormous statue
It’s only my personal preference but I feel an enormous statue of Thor with his war hammer Mjolnir in battle pose, legs straddling the White House would send a powerful message to our enemies. Or perhaps two giant statues of Zeus and Anubis high-fiving over the entrance to the Capitol would send a message of both unity and power to those who enter those hallowed halls.
This is only the beginning. We could stamp “In Ra we trust” on all our coinage and sing “Allah Bless America” before football games.
Instead of southern states forcing biology teachers to teach creation myths in class we should include a section of the battles of the Valar and Elves against the rogue Ainur Melkor over the Silmaril’s and control of Arda.
Glorfindel’s triumph
Seriously, if there was a section about Glorfindel’s triumph over a Balrog during the Fall of Gondolin between learning zoology and genetics, I would have sailed through 11th grade.
Why stop there? It’s high time we get more gods in this country, from Jesus to The Flying Spaghetti Monster they all deserve a place at the forefront.
Clearly I’m being somewhat tongue-in-cheek here but the point I’m making is that if you want God back in the White House, we need to put all of them in there.
Everyone’s a non-believer
The founding fathers included that sticky little provision Thomas Jefferson called a “separation of church and state” when explaining the First Amendment to the US Constitution.
Too many politicians are calling for the harassment and persecution of atheists without realizing every single person in this country is an atheist to some extent. There are 10,000 some-odd deities believed in while many believe in monotheism in this country which makes them disbelievers in 9,999 Gods. Why should those who disbelieve in only one more God be so different and heretical?
Get it together America, and seriously, a statue of Thor, get working on that.