Need sympathy? Just pull a rabbit out of a box

By Jenni Fasselin

Easter weekend brought back a lot of memories. Family dinners, egg hunts and a visit from the Easter Bunny were all part of the fun.
It took me back to other fond memories. The memories serve as reminders that being a mom has been the most rewarding job of my life. Rewards come from the stories I can tell of impossible feats of mom-dom that every mom can relate to. Those crazy stories that nobody would believe is part of a parent’s everyday life.
Several years ago at 4:45 p.m. on a Monday I get a call. Mondays are production day for the newspaper. Chaos ensues as ad proofs and editorial pages are merged to make the printing deadline, especially if it is as late as 4:45.
The printer’s deadline really means the end, no more time, finished, kaput, stop. It is a very busy time and high pressure for everyone in the office. I was swamped with client calls and working with a production manager who was not too happy with my juggling skills at deadline. The day was proof I had tested her to the furthest of limits and she literally wanted to wring my neck.
About that time, my adult child calls.
“Mom, I need a rabbit.”
“Hmnn… ok can this wait for a bit honey? I am really busy,” I replied.
“Nooooo, I need your help right now. I need you to go and buy me a rabbit, right now.”
“Now? But, um, ok honey, I don’t have any checks and I’m right on deadline.”
“Mom Please! I need you to hurry and go buy this rabbit before the store closes.”
Well that did it. My little pumpkin said “Please” and she seemed very distraught so I said “Ok what time do they close?”
“At five.”
I almost choked as I looked at the clock. The store was easily eight minutes away and now it was 4:47. My mind was racing. I raced out the door and motioned to my bestie who is my right arm and helper to get ready we were leaving.
I ran to the production manager’s office and tried to explain something about a rabbit… The look she was giving me was like daggers. A tirade ensued that ads were due right now but really several hours ago. Yes, yes I know. I’m working on it but I have to hurry and run and get a rabbit.
I grabbed the proofs and hurried and called the client: driving, proofing, talking and taking a phone call from the office that production was not waiting on me.
The pressman had called and said we could not be late and the manager still had to process pages. I beeped the call back to the client who had successfully retrieved the ad on email and we were proofing it.
Oh my gosh–changes! Well, absolutely, Mr. Client whatever you need. You don’t like the ad? Oh, no problem you want to rework all of it? Sure, sure let me call my production manager and take care of that.
Meanwhile, I had arrived at the pet store. My trusty friend had no idea what we were doing but had overheard enough of the earlier conversation that we were in search of a rabbit. The funny part was no words were exchanged but she knew enough to go in and secure a rabbit.
Money, on the other hand, was a big problem, for I was out of checks. I frantically searched for a check and finally secured an old one that was partially written out and had been a previous mistake. I scribbled through it and handed it to my friend. The entire process I was on the phone and was getting an earful from angry, fire-breathing production manager who was rebuilding ads at five minutes to 5 and where was I? And as a reminder not to be giving her one of my far fetched stories……
Driving back to the paper, I was again on the phone assuring Mr. Client that the entire ad rebuild was happening and everything was going to be just fine. Of course it was no problem, the production manager was very happy to help.
In my mind I was actually scared of the return to the office, maybe just maybe this was the day I had really succeeded in making the production artist so angry and had fanned her smoldering anger to full fledged flames that she was going to reign down on me. I was expecting flames to shoot out! I had plans of using that bunny as a shield if necessary.
I got back at the office 5:15. I took the rabbit in the box inside with me and as I was standing over the manger’s shoulder, peering at the ad she had recreated, proofing it to the client’s specs, I poked air holes in the box. With each poke in the box I could see the production manager getting madder and madder. So much for a bunny shield!
Finally the ad was proofed. I escaped to the outer office and my daughter, who at that time was a teacher’s aide and needed the rabbit for a classroom project, arrived to pick up the bunny!
The best part is the production manager came out and melted all over the cute little bunny that my daughter was petting and confessed she thought it was all a story of mine to get more time for Mr. Client right down to poking holes in the box! Really? I sat in amazement, happy to have helped my child with the almost impossible and thought “Next time I will need to remember, all I had to do was pull the rabbit out of the box!”